


Are We Into It?!

by MagpieMorality



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Blood and Injury, Forced Bonding, Handwavey Physics, Hurt/Comfort, I mean everyone is pretty morally imperfect, Logan is almost entirely neutral he's good, Metaphysics, Mild Blood, Mild Hurt/Comfort, New york as written by a foreigner, Panic Attacks, Pillow Fights, Prejudice, Remus being Remus, Road trip! Road triiiiip!, They're noncorporeal guys the rules don't apply, Unsympathetic Light Sides - Freeform, but they gotta face it to work on it, even if Logan hates it, family christmas vibes, nobody's perfect, slight nsfw from him, that's it that's the entire point, you gotta get along if you're on holiday right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21837571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagpieMorality/pseuds/MagpieMorality
Summary: Sometimes, if the Sides are really lucky; Thomas will take a trip to somewhere cool and exciting away from home. This year, just before Christmas, their destination is the big apple itself, and everyone is looking forwards to the vacation.But when they're joined by two tag-a-longs that don't usually play very nice, will the trip tank spectacularly or will the Christmas spirit form a new bond between them all?AKA that Roadtrip AU you almost certainly didn't know you wanted, now with bonus festive fun!!
Relationships: Platonic DR LAMP
Comments: 73
Kudos: 118





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweet; the Sides get ready to leave for their New York vacation. 
> 
> But! A challenger approaches! It's Deceit and Remus because no family vacation is complete without the black sheep of the family throwing a spanner in the works and upsetting the balance... 
> 
> Fireworks inbound!

If there was one thing about Winter that every side liked it was-

“Snow!”

No Patton, it was-

“ _Christmas_?!”

No! It was-

“Pumpkin spice lattes.”

Don’t encourage him, Virgil. The answer was of course **ice skating**. While none of the Sides were necessarily much good (nor was Thomas for that matter), they all generally had fun if they got to go with Thomas on a rare visit north to New York (or somewhere else with a winter rink, but in their experience so far that had been limited to New York and one singular visit to Disneyworld). And this year was one of those occasions. Actually-

“Actually we have to _go soon_ , Roman, so could you stop writing in your super epic adventure diary book and pack?” Logan interrupted primly, giving Roman a stern look over his glasses as he dipped into Roman’s room to tug Patton out by the neck of his cat hoodie (from where he was watching Roman's story forming) and get him moving as well.

Roman scowled, turning briefly back to the magical paper. Words flitted indecisively on the page, trying to capture what he wanted to say, but the flow was lost now so he just groaned, pouted, and closed the book up; tucking it away in his Disney princes suitcase to bring along for when those sudden flashes of inspiration that would hit.

When he left his room at last, Logan was striding past with his own suitcase and what appeared to be Patton’s, Virgil also in tow and grumbling under his breath, heaving a heavy looking duffel bag downstairs where they all assembled for Logan’s patented Final Check.

It wasn’t the Final _Final_ Check, though; that came after Virgil had to run back upstairs to get his makeup wipes, and after Patton was told in no uncertain terms that he definitely _couldn’t_ bring a fourth plushie with him even if it was _super cute_ and would miss the rest of them, and also after he then just _had_ to spend ten extra minutes deliberating which of the plushies he had initially packed would be picked to stay behind to keep the fourth one company.

It was a complicated process...

Roman, on the other hand, passed the check and double check and was ticked off as being all present and correct quickly enough to spend some time chilling out on the couch watching the beginning of a movie (Aladdin today) while Logan, Virgil and Patton ran around in a tizz. And so he was the only one present when there was a soft sigh and a clearing of someone’s throat. Someone _not_ Logan, Virgil or Patton.

He startled and did a dramatic double take. Because- why would Deceit and Remus be standing in the living room looking distinctly uncomfortable but also vaguely hopeful?! And why did they have bags with them?!

“Um…”

“Um-” Deceit and Roman began at the same time, both wide eyed at the interruption and falling silent. It was Remus, glancing between the two of them, who finally broke the silence with a loud (it was his default volume) and joyous cry of “isn't this **awkward**!” 

The yell alerted Logan, who thundered downstairs in his hurry to see what on earth was interrupting his schedule. He came to a sudden stop at the bottom of the stairs when he saw the intruders, glaring at the two other sides, Patton and Virgil hot on his heels. “Now _what_ do you think you’re doing here, exactly? I hadn’t planned for this one bit! You’re not on the _rota_ , you’re not on the _checklists_ , you’re- you’re _not invited_!” Logan said huffily, cheeks a little pink from the upset and his indignation.

Remus just beamed at him, bouncing out from behind Deceit to give first Logan, then Patton and Roman big hugs (Virgil got a surprisingly considerate fist bump instead). He poked at Roman’s suitcase curiously as he answered Logan's question. “Well, _obviously_ we’re coming with you. This is a holiday, isn’t it? I **love** holidays! And Dee here has never been on one before!” 

Deceit pinned on a smirk when all eyes turned to him, shrugging elegantly. “What? No need to look at me like that... he’s not _lying_.“

There was a brief quiet wherein primarily Logan, but to some extent each of the other sides (Remus included) tried to figure out if he was telling the truth. Deceit rolled his eyes. "Honestly, guys. We just want to come on holiday okay? No ulterior motives.” The suspicious looks didn’t let up and he sighed, lifting his bowler hat to run his gloved fingers through his hair in barely concealed impatience. “Fine; **I have _so_ many ulterior motives**!” He said in his best ‘lying drawl’. It seemed to do the trick because they all quickly relaxed.

By the time Thomas called them to set off maybe another fifteen minutes later, they were as ready as they could be. They may not have been particularly comfortable, and the conversation was far from _flowing_ , but even Deceit was smiling in anticipation of the trip- wheeling his and Remus’ luggage out of the door so Logan could lock up and the whole family could pile into the car to the airport.

_Go time; show time, baby._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not editing this very much in an attempt to just get it out into the world. That being said I kinda love this concept and it's a very gratuitous way of working up to an ice skating scene, which is really the entire reason this exists :)
> 
> This will be a totally gen family-relationship Sanders Sides AU!
> 
> Oh, and the title was unashamedly taken from Thomas' 'Road Trip!' videos that are easiest to find in the sensory deprivation tank video~


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Sides take on the airport.

The ride hadn't been as hard as it could have been. There were certain _technical_ allowances for space made when you were a bunch of metaphysical entities coasting along in your human host's mind's eye, but even so the car wasn't _comfortable_. 

The six Sides spilled out gratefully on arrival, except for Remus who was pouting about having to give up his prime position squashed in the footwell where he could breathe on people's ankles, and on one occasion chew on Logan's shoelaces until he was swatted with a rolled up magazine Deceit conjured just for that purpose. It had been making Logan uncomfortable, which had led to him squirming and elbowing Deceit a few times, which was definitely the _only_ reason he'd intervened. 

Definitely. 

While Deceit pulled Remus aside to give him a stern lecture about being on their best behaviour (again, it was the sixth time that _day_ and the ninth time since they'd decided to gatecrash the holiday late the night before), the other four Sides grabbed their bags, Logan quintuple checking that they all had what they needed. Virgil had to take out some safety pins he'd forgotten were stuck in his hoodie pocket but Logan was delighted to note his quadruple check had done the trick and that was the only thing they hadn't previously caught. 

And then he turned to the Dark Sides. He cleared his throat until Deceit turned his way with a raised eyebrow, making deliberate eye contact with his normal eye and refusing to get distracted by the pink skin around the other one. 

"Is there a problem?" Deceit asked smoothly, one of his hands gripping an overexcited Remus by the sleeve to make sure he didn't run off. 

"I wanted to run my checklist by you, to avoid any issue further along the line. Would that be acceptable? Would you be amenable to me reading it out?" Logan asked, holding the sheet up to underscore his request. 

Deceit considered it for a half second before nodding, waving a hand magnanimously at the other Side. 

A full five minutes of yes's and no's later and Deceit was losing the will to live. At least Logan had agreed to walk and talk by the third page of his checklist, otherwise Deceit was sure they'd have missed the flight (except not really, because _Thomas_ hadn't, but that was a technicality again and if they cheated like that all the time it would take the fun out of existing entirely). 

They had a welcome distraction in the form of Remus, followed swiftly by Roman. Remus grabbed and hid behind Deceit with a mad cackle as the other twin lunged at him with a furious expression. That would've been a hint enough without Roman shrieking, "you take that _back_!"

"Honestly, you guys move _way_ too fast!" Patton was behind them, panting as he tried to keep up. "I tried to stop them, I swear!" He said as he approached. Logan and Deceit raised oddly identical eyebrows at the commotion, coughing and clearing their throats when they made eye contact. This was no time to be bonding. 

With a sigh, Deceit caught Remus by the collar. "Remus, what did we talk about last night?" He asked sternly. Logan and Patton corralled Roman and were trying to talk him down a few paces away. Remus squirmed for a few moments longer before sagging in Deceits grasp. "There we go. Just keep that in mind okay? We're still on probation here and you don't want us to have to go home early and miss all the fun now, do you?" Remus shook his head, trying not to meet Deceit's eyes until he was forced to. "You promised." 

Remus sighed heavily, pulling out of Deceit's hold with a scowl and shrugging his jacket back into place. "I know. I know! I promised. Jeez, don't get your panties in a twist. Or you know, _do_ , if you're into that-" 

"Remus!" Deceit pulled him away again when he saw the looks they were getting from Patton and Logan. "Just, keep it on the down low, would you?!" He hissed. "You know why."

"I do," Remus murmured, patting Deceit on the arm. "Sorry Roman! Didn't mean it!" He crowed, bouncing back past the others to hurry after Thomas and Virgil. Deceit gave a weak smile and shrug on his own way past, feeling the stares, and hearing the huff and tuts from the Light sides ring in his ears for a while after. 

They all collectively decided (well Logan and Patton decided and no one argued) to head through their own version of security while Thomas did the same. Roman conjured up a distinctly fairytale version, complete with anthropomorphic candy as staff, that Remus had to _really_ fight the urge to corrupt. His fingers twitched, but a look from Deceit quelled him quickly. And if his candy security guard had a few extra teeth and was a little touchy-feely with the totally uncalled for pat down, then who was to know? 

In the end, the airport, when they rejoined Thomas, was nothing overly special. Virgil immediately hated the amount of people and _stuff_ everywhere; Patton was tugging on Logan's arm and cooing about all the cute lil' trinkets they could buy; Roman was up with Thomas chattering away about some new idea or something and waving a book around; and Remus and Deceit were just taking it all in. Remus nudged his friend. "What do you think? If you ask me, it could use some more flesh-eating tentacles or porn cinemas, you know?" 

Deceit snorted softly. "It's pretty boring, really. I'm not finding it interesting at all." He winked at Remus who grinned back. 

They all settled in to wait at the gate, where Roman started up an endless game of I spy that somehow had Virgil both hooked and incredibly irritated. Remus was watching from his seat a little way away, with his chin in his hand, his other hand picking fretfully at a scab on his elbow to keep himself distracted. Deceit sat beside him with a book, and they waited. And waited. Patton fell asleep on Logan's shoulder as Logan read softly from the book he had downloaded on his kindle. From the words reaching the Dark sides it was something about space. 

Turned out airports weren't quite as exciting as Deceit might privately have hoped. And yet, he was still having a pretty good time on his first vacation with Thomas ever. The same couldn't be said for Remus, but it was only temporary. He could be as chaotic as he wanted when they got back home in a week; Deceit was sure he'd be just _fine_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again not heavily edited! Some minor hints at actual emotions and some plot (not with a capital P) possibilities. Enjoy!
> 
> Hopefully will get another chapter up in not too long, once my Christmas Sanders sides challenge is done I can divert more focus here woo


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the plane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for air travel stats (but good ones!)

Surprising exactly _no one_ ; planes were not a good time for the gaggle of sides. It was just as well no one could hear them, because Roman's loud music was mixing unpleasantly with the increasingly frantic protests Virgil was giving Remus for each of his unwanted plane crash facts (that was no doubt soon going to devolve into a fight) and the steady bickering of Logan and Deceit on either side of Patton. Patton sighed- couldn't they all just get along? 

More importantly- couldn't Roman have sat with them so Patton didn't have to endure this torture?! He didn't not _like_ Deceit, necessarily... But he wasn't necessarily a fan? The side was just so... so... _icky_. Who went about lying and hiding things and dressing like a bad guy, except for a bad guy? Patton tried not to hear that thought in Roman's voice; especially not when he remembered how similar things had been with Virgil at the start. But Virgil was always suffering from his own duties, so it was okay, wasn't it? If you didn't _enjoy_ your job as a bad guy then it was much easier to be sympathetic, and Patton had never struggled to see Virgil as sympathetic. 

But Deceit? And Remus, too for that matter? Patton hid a delicate shudder by stretching and yawning, conveniently interrupting the latest round of sniping going on across him. "Oh, sorry kiddos!" He beamed at them. At Logan, actually, and Deceit just folded his arms and turned to look sideways at the other trio. Roman was writing in his magic book while his fingers tapped along to the music they could all very clearly hear. Virgil looked slightly green as Remus counted off statistics of plane mechanical failures with a bright expression that only mostly masked the slightly guilty glint in his eyes as his mouth ran and ran. 

Patton leaned past Deceit to give them a pained smile. "Hey there, you lot doing okay?" He asked, and Deceit fought the urge to roll his eyes, meeting Remus' and giving him a warning look instead. "Virge, sweetie, you don't look so good-"

"Here," Deceit interrupted quickly before Remus' face could fall any further as he peered at Virgil in concern. "Swap with me. Remus and I need to have a chat. Again." Virgil moved quickly, scrambling out of the seatbelt and into the aisle so the scaley side could take his place, pausing face to face as they stood up. Deceit offered a fleeting smile and Virgil dipped his head in a sort of nod of thanks, taking Patton's hand once he was settled into his new place. As for Deceit; he turned to Remus and waited for the side to wilt as he realised he was in trouble again. He leaned close and Remus started to fidget with the tray table clip nervously. "You know what we said. I'm not gonna say it again. You-"

"I promised," Remus spoke over him in a mutter. "I know. Sorry. It's just- did you know fatalities per trillion revenue passenger kilometre (RPK) decreased 54 fold from 3,218 to 59 from 1970 to 2018?!" 

"Remus, stop it now or-" 

"A-and until 2018 there were no fatalities on large scheduled commercial airlines in the United States for over nine years, Dee!" Deceit eyed his bouncing travelling companion as he squirmed in his restrictive seat. Virgil whimpered softly on the other side of the aisle, as Patton hushed him and squeezed his hand. 

Remus looked at Deceit with big, pleading eyes, willing him to understand. "Re, it's not that you're not _trying_ , it's just- not everyone wants to hear about accidents and crashes and death when they're not comfortable already, okay? Even if they're good things. And I know you're trying to help, I know. Just, have a rest okay? Do you want to do some colouring?" He patted Remus on the arm and the other side nodded silently, distracted quickly by the book and pencils Deceit conjured up in front of him. 

Patton gave him a grateful nod and an almost-smile when he turned to see the result of his hard work. Virgil had his headphones on, Logan was doing a crossword and Deceit soon got lulled into a nap of his own by the sound of the scratching of Remus' pencils on paper next to him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by a comment on the last chapter! Everyone is trying- some are trying harder than others; some are doing better than others... 
> 
> Just a short one to keep things going, because long chapters are not coming naturally to me right now! 12 Days of Sides-mas is still going on because I started too late with it woops!
> 
> Reconnecting is hard, y'all. Also happy hols!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Landing and check in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Slightly unsympathetic light sides, panic attack, arguments/unresolved conflict, Remus and his imagination (aka slight body horror & gore)

The flight was pleasantly short compared to some Thomas had taken before. Roman awoke with a start when the wheels hit the tarmac, jolted from his nap. He'd been having a great dream about robots or something, and he flipped his book open to watch the pages fill with words as fast as he could think them, music still blaring through his headphones. 

He felt the weight of eyes on him and looked up to see Remus peering unashamedly at the pages watching story laying itself out, although it was currently stuttered to a halt. Remus met his eyes with a raised eyebrow, and opened his mouth to say something. Roman blinked when his brother's lips moved but no sound came out, only realising the problem when Remus flicked his headphones pointedly (not removing them himself and was that because he was being respectful- hah as if- or because Deceit had a tight grip of Remus' other hand? Roman wasn't sure) until Roman pushed them down. 

"What?" He asked, a little short because he'd been interrupted. And because it was Remus interrupting him and his default reaction would always be irritation. Remus just pointed at the page with a chewed fingernail. 

"It's good, but... when the robots get cut open there should be _blood_ and _guts_ and _green oil_ everywhere revealing that the robots were created from _humans_ all along and maybe the good guy isn't really on the good side and **_everyone is a victim_** _ **and**_ -" He stopped when Deceit squeezed his fingers hard in warning, but the words on the pages of Roman's book were off again all of a sudden with the prompt. He looked at it thoughtfully, mind whirring with the new ideas. When the red ink started to mix with green and run together in a bright orange, they looked at each other, and Remus found his grin returned for a brief second before Roman looked away and cleared his throat, swiftly affecting nonchalance. 

"Yeah that's, it's kind of a cool idea I guess," he admitted with a forced casual tone, snapping the book shut, making Remus frown and Deceit sigh almost inaudibly and click his tongue. They were called to get off then, in a stroke of luck, and the conversation was tabled for another time. 

Getting out of the airport was easier than getting in, and the taxi to their hotel was smooth, if a little slow. Everyone was focused on behaving themselves, tired after the early start and draining travel and entirely unwilling to snap the growing tension between them. Thomas didn't need a fight this early into his vacation, after all. 

The hotel, when they arrived, was pretty great. Thomas was sharing a room with a friend so after some handwavey impossible physics (Roman's speciality; Logan's least favourite useful tool) the sides had a room appear beside their host's, and so what if it was maybe a little nicer and fancier than they should have been based on the rest of the decor of the place? Roman was going to vacation in style, thank you very much, and Patton had told him he could have a little fun with the design for once.

It would have been the source of a lot of excitement and joy had they not immediately run into the issue of who was sleeping where. All six stood in front of the first door and when it opened to reveal a grand total of just four beds Deceit fought the urge to make a sour face from the back of the group. Instead he waited for Roman to very awkwardly and uncomfortably stutter some excuse out and point to a hurriedly summoned second door opposite, making plaintive, terrible excuses for the mistake in the horrible silence that had fallen.

_Liar_. 

Deceit sniffed and lifted his chin proudly. Remus, on his best behaviour, was clearly holding back his instinctive need to comment on the situation and managed to lead Deceit to their shared room before the situation could get any worse. Oh, but _of course_ the second room wasn't _quite_ as well thought through as the first, Deceit thought viciously to himself- that wasn't to say it was actively unpleasant, but it was plain and clearly not created with quite the same level of care and attention as Roman's first attempt.

It was impossible not to explode as soon as the door shut behind them, and Deceit found himself quickly falling into a stream of hissed fury, pacing around the room cursing the _goddamn light sides_ and their _goddamn prejudices_. Remus watched, torn between delight at the brutal honesty of the words pouring out and wanting to ameliorate the situation. Hah, what a thought- him making things _better_!

It took a while for the furious side to calm down, ending his tirade with a spectacularly dramatic flop onto the bed, face first into a pillow. He groaned loudly, only to yelp when something hit him in the back of the head. He sat up sharply, seeing Remus with a morningstar-shaped pillow held aloft and ready for a second strike, beaming wildly, ready to distract his friend out of his funk. With a smooth move Deceit manifested a surprise third arm to reach behind him for the pillow on his bed, catching the attack Remus swung at him with a fourth when it came down. They fell into battle, pillows flying and ripping and reappearing magically on the bed to be grabbed for new ammo when it was needed. Deceit's arms were a blurred force as he hurled soft projectile after soft projectile at Remus, who had somehow taken several bruises and cuts despite the lack of a single edge on their weapons.

The whole thing came to a slow end, both sides breathless with laughter and tired from exertion. They stood facing each other, feathers floating everywhere like snow, and Remus caught one on his tongue to snack on, before calling uncle and flopping on his back to make a snow angel in the debris that liberally coated the floor. He sneakily tugged on Deceit's ankle so he was forced to collapse beside him and he turned to look at Remus after a minute of thinking, giving him a grateful smile when the other side looked back. It was plain in Deceit's eyes that he appreciated the diversion and the simple fun. Remus might never admit it but he was a good friend. 

"You gotta have a pillow fight while you're on vacation, Dee, it's the rules!" Remus told him, but the softness of his eyes betrayed his real motive and Deceit just snorted softly at the white lie and gave him a brief, tight hug, before getting up to unpack for them both. 

* * *

"You can't have just _forgotten_!" Virgil was hissing at Roman while they also unpacked. The suite had somehow enlarged itself once the other two had left, and where there had been a large room with four beds there was now a suite with two double rooms equipped with en-suites and a living area. It was excessive, if you asked Virgil, but they hadn't asked Virgil. Roman hadn't asked anyone before getting started, and Patton's permission to 'go wild' didn't count. "That's ridiculous. They were literally sitting with you the entire flight! They've been with us all day! Remus was _sat on your foot_ in the taxi!" 

"Well I _did_ , so what do you want me to say?!" Roman snapped back, cheeks flushed with what Virgil hoped was shame. God he _hoped_ Roman felt bad, because if he didn't then there was a lot he'd have to reconsider about the light side. Okay, so Roman hadn't exactly had an easy time with accepting _him_ in the early days, but if he hadn't learned his lesson with the whole Accepting Anxiety debacle then it only showed that he was exactly as prejudiced as before, and for whatever reason he just considered Virgil exempt of that prejudice. Which... was a bit yikes. 

"I want you to say you're sorry about it! Accept what you did, okay? Please!" 

"'Please'?! Why are you so upset about this anyway? They're just-" 

"Just _what, Roman_." Virgil glared at him, hackles well up. He knew exactly what Roman was going to say. Just dark sides. Just the bad guys. Just less important than us. Just like him. "Just. _What_." 

The air crackled and darkened until both Patton and Logan came running in, seeing the shadows that were creeping in from Virgil's corner of the room. Roman was stood, hands balled into fists but head down. 

"Gosh, kiddos, what in the name of cookies is going on?!" Patton exclaimed, pushing between them and laying a hand on a shoulder each. Logan pushed his glasses up firmly and eyed the shadows. "Kiddos?" Patton repeated when no one answered him. Roman shrugged, eyes still locked with Virgil's. 

He glanced at Patton and let his hands relax. "Nothing, Pops, it's all good. Virgil was just-"

The darkness coiled and Virgil took a step back, forcing Patton's hand to drop. "I was just trying to understand why Roman felt the need to cut out the others. It wasn't very good of him, right _Princey_?" Roman bared his teeth defensively and Virgil narrowed his eyes. 

"Good gosh, there's a lot of frustration here isn't there!" Patton laughed, sounding nervous. "Now why don't we all go sit down and talk about this? What's got you wound up tighter than a jack in the box, Virgil?" 

"He left them out deliberately!" 

"I did _not_!" 

"Yes, you-"

"Patton I don't believe this is very productive-"

"What would you like me to do, Lo?! I don't think colouring books and fidget cubes are quite going to work here!" Patton cried desperately over the continued noise of arguing. Logan sighed and clapped his hands and the room rang out with the sharp crack of sound and then fell quiet at last. "That's better, thank you," Logan said with satisfaction. He stepped forwards, pushing first Roman back to sit on his bed, and then Virgil to his. Patton made himself comfortable in the conveniently placed plush armchair, sitting up and clasping his hands together as he attentively waited for Logan to fix the whole mess. 

Which he would, of course. Virgil kept on glaring hotly at Roman, clutching the edge of the mattress with white knuckles. Roman refused to look up from the carpet even when Logan spoke to them. 

"This can't continue. We are here to enjoy a vacation with and _for_ Thomas. Do we remember Thomas?" Logan raised an eyebrow and Patton (being the only one looking at him) winced and squirmed under the full force of Logan's truly excellent disapproval. "Now, quickly and concisely, Roman would you explain what the issue is from your perspective please?"

Virgil and Roman began talking at once as Virgil's betrayed expression turned on Logan instead and Roman tried to do as he was told. 

"You're asking _him_ first?! Of course you are! I don't know why I expected any better it's not like _anyone know what a **fair trial is**_ -" The tempest tongue unleashed and he clapped a hand to his mouth in shock. It had been a long while since that had happened... 

Roman's reply had trailed off and they were all staring at Virgil. So many eyes, so much judgement, so much attention and focus and it was bad bad bad he was in trouble he was in danger he was- 

"You're having a panic attack, Virgil, remember your breathing." Logan's voice cut through the voices long enough for him to start to follow his advice. But the damage had been done; Virgil could feel Thomas in the next room sitting down heavily on his bed and clutching at his chest as he tried to calm himself. Virgil cowered, covering his face with his hands and wishing they'd never come on this stupid trip. Wishing, even if it was petty and childish and cruel, that Deceit and Remus hadn't picked now to try and force the issue of their involvement all of a sudden. Couldn't they have just done it _his_ way and slowly but surely encroached on video time until the others got to know them and accept them? They should have known it would turn out badly this way. 

Patton and Roman were gone from the room when he came back to himself, the rushing of his heartbeat in his ears clearing to let the quiet ticking of the bedside clock and the traffic noises from outside fade back in. Logan blinked at him from the opposite bed where he'd apparently perched to talk Virgil through the attack. He tried to smile but from Logan's expression it was clear it hadn't been very convincing. The other side cleared his throat softly and placed his hands on his knees. "Virgil, Roman explained somewhat. I know you probably have a different opinion on what occurred and your reasons for the altercation between the two of you," he was speaking carefully, _too_ carefully, and Virgil had a sneaking suspicion that he knew what came next... "So what we've decided is that the subject is better tabled for the duration of the holiday. We can return to it upon our arrival home, when our emotions will least impact Thomas and his social life. Do you agree?" 

No, I don't, was what Virgil wanted to say. We should sort this out and clear the air and- no, now wasn't really the time. As Logan said; the light sides had _decided_. His agreement was secondary. 

So he nodded and waited for Logan to leave with a small smile and a nod, before curling up in his temporary bed with his headphones to try and drown out the uncertainties ringing so loudly in his ears. When Patton stuck his head in to say they were going out to explore and get some dinner he ignored the summons, pretending to be asleep until he heard the main door click shut. 

Good; at least now he could get some real rest. God knew he would need it to survive the stay...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it wonderfully serendipitous that Thomas actually did go to New York this year for new year? yES.
> 
> Am I retroactively making this a post-Christmas trip? you BET.
> 
> Did this angst without my say so because suddenly I don't have a Christmas deadline keeping things wholesome? maybe you can't prove anything.
> 
> Now, this would normally have been two chapters, in keeping with the previous chapter lengths, if people prefer the short and snappy then let me know! If you don't mind a bit more length and wait between chapters let me know! Just let me know any opinions you have! Woo!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinnertime in New York.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: arguments, conflict, blaming, guilt, denial of guilt.

Dinner was awkward. By mutual agreement Patton, Logan and Roman left Thomas mostly to his own devices, wandering around within visible distance and ending up sat at a table placed on a previously not-there second floor in the tiny italian restaurant their host chose. They tried to talk, but Roman was deep in a sulk and when Roman was in a sulk poor empathetic Patton soon flagged. And it wasn't like Logan was overly invested in forcing conversation when it wasn't necessary. 

So they ate their food in near silence, conjured in a rush by Roman when Logan had meaningfully cleared his throat. And then they'd left when Thomas had left and Logan had suggested they go back to the hotel and Roman said he didn't want to and suddenly they were back to arguing. 

Patton clapped his hands over his ears. "Stop it, stop it, stop it!" He shouted, eyes blurring with impending tears. "I don't like this, I don't like _any_ of it! Why are we all so _sad_ this is a _vacation_!" 

Roman scowled and folded his arms. "Oh I don't know, maybe because Virgil was being a little b-"

" _Roman_!" Patton and Logan both rounded on him, gasping in shock. "What is up with you?!"

"I just-" Roman looked panicked, his chest heaving, heart pounding fast. There was something unpleasant mixing there, a combination of bad and worse and worst, until his stomach churned and his chest ached and his eyes prickled and his hands balled into useless fists, unable to fight what came from within. "I feel _bad_ , Pat!" He wailed, falling forwards into Patton's arms and dissolving into sobs. Patton held him, hushing him but looking at Logan with wide eyes over Roman's shoulder. "It's all wrong! And I- I think it's _my fault_ -" 

Logan sighed. "Far be it for me to interrupt the one time you're willing to take the blame for your mistakes, but in this case I don't believe your statement is entirely accurate. In the case of your argument with Virgil I perhaps inadvertently exacerbated the problem by going to you first and not giving him quite as equal an opportunity to share his explanation. In the case of your ah, overlooking our two colleagues... well..." He faltered, adjusting his glasses uncertainly. "I'm not so sure there isn't something there to examine a little closer on my own part, actually." 

"But Lo!" Patton stared at him, and Roman lifted his head, uncharacteristically messy from the tears. "You haven't done anything wrong. I would know. I would _know_." 

"Would you?" Logan asked softly, suddenly very glad they were not _actually_ stood in the middle of a New York street having this discussion. He felt very unpleasantly hot and had to adjust his collar. Maybe he too, felt bad. "You are our moral compass, Patton. That is not to say it's impossible for you to be wrong about something. Remember when Virgil was upset because you were reducing him to a victimised child figure? Is it so hard to believe that all three of us may have been... mistaken? Fundamentally?" 

They stood together in silence in the aftermath of that suggestion, reconsidering and re-examining as much as they could bear to. 

* * *

Back at the hotel Deceit was working very, _very_ hard to keep Thomas from feeling the influx and backwash of negativity from his three most influential sides. He was putting so much effort in that it was giving him a headache, in fact, and Remus had conjured a cooling pad to press to the base of his skull for him. 

They both looked up when there was a knock on the door, surprised and startled by the reminder of the outside world. Or well, outside within the inside of Thomas's mind. Somehow. Deceit already had a headache, he didn't need to think about that on top of everything else just then. 

"Should I-" Remus waved a hand vaguely in the direction of the sound, still looking shocked. "Open it?" 

"I think you should," Deceit replied, voice thin and strained. "If it's one of them then they can explain what the hell is going on."

It was Virgil, offering a weak smile when Remus opened the door. He slipped past Remus and into the room, glancing around with a barely concealed wrinkle of his nose. Deceit's shoulders tensed at the reaction and he gave an answering sarcastic smile of his own. "What do you want, Virgil?" He asked, wondering if this was the envoy from the group asking them to head back home and leave them alone. 

"I'm sorry. For Roman, because he won't say it. He shouldn't have- he shouldn't have left you out like that! It was totally uncalled for, and it was rude and he's a jerk and I don't even know why he-" 

"Kiddo, kiddo _please_ calm down, I can only hold so much back right now." Remus hurried over at the admission, picking his cooling duty back up, concern written all over his face. Virgil blinked at them, stammering for a moment as he gradually started to frown. "That's, yeah that's better thanks," Deceit muttered, squeezing the hand Remus held out for him. 

It took Virgil another few seconds to find the right question to ask, blinking a few times before opening his mouth to ask, "What else are you holding back?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," Remus told him shortly. Virgil twitched with restrained hurt, biting back a retort. 

"Actually, I would," he said instead, voice carefully calm and cautiously concerned. It had been a long time since he'd been openly sympathetic to either of these two sides, and it took a concerted effort not to balk at the huge potential for rejection. "Is it the others? I've been here the whole time. They went to dinner, so... I don't know about anything going on."

Deceit and Remus shared a look, and Remus subsided with a soft grumble so Deceit could reply. "It's not nothing, alright? All three of them are wildly out of whack right now, and Thomas is- he's _fine_ -" he interjected quickly when Virgil blanched with sudden fear. "He's fine. But it's taking a lot to disconnect them from him right now. You really don't know what's going on?" Remus scoffed at the idea.

Virgil, on the other hand, looked suddenly guilty. Interesting. "Um, I may have an idea?" He said in a small voice. "It's just," he sat down on the second bed, pulling the ends of his sleeves over his fingers to fidget with. "Well, before they left I had a bit of an argument with them? With Roman, really, but it got a bit ah, out of hand?" Virgil winced, hanging his head so he could peer at them from beneath the safety of his bangs. Remus looked intrigued, lips pushed out, mulling things over. "So they may be a bit upset, about that," Virgil added when the quiet hung for too long without being filled. 

"Well, I guess we'll just have to ask them when they get back," Deceit sighed, the headache lessening as some of the edge of desperate wrongness eased off from the three absent sides. "I have a feeling that won't be very long from now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took for flipping ever to write. Tumblr prompts took over (Bring It On primarily) and work is busy! But I was finally read to write this and I'm happy with where we got to. I also added a tentative chapter count, just to keep myself in check, so hopefully we can resolve soon and enjoy this vacation!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An offering of peace?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: conflict, angst

Deceit turned out to be right, and not quite thirty minutes later there was a knock on the door. 

Remus started to growl, and the room went dark and uninviting, but Deceit quieted him with a hand on his neck and a grateful but stern look. "Now now, let's have them speak first before I let you at them, alright? Your promise still stands, Re." Remus subsided, but he looked distinctly put-out and Virgil swallowed at the implications of that sweetly said threat from the other bed, pulling his knees up to his chest and wondering just how much these two had changed since he'd left way back when. 

The knock sounded again, and Remus went back to glaring at the door while Deceit stood, straightening his cloak and lifting his chin to walk over and open it. True enough, the three sides stood there with matching miserable expressions. Patton at least attempted a smile, but the others didn't bother. "Well, hi!" Morality said, voice missing it's usual pep. Deceit looked at the trio for a moment with a carefully crafted unreadable expression, before just sighing and beckoning them in. It was just too hard to keep up the cool and unruffled act with the effort he had to put into just standing upright, so he retreated to Remus and watched the three of them shuffle in and hover awkwardly in the room, no doubt taking in the decor- Remus's best eerie hotel vibe, and notably not Roman's. 

Logan glanced at Roman- whose head pretty much couldn't hang any lower- and shared a look with Patton, who stepped forwards with a bright, false smile, his hands clasped in front of him mostly to stop them shaking. "So! We uh, we should probably have a little pow-wow, maybe, kiddos? There's ah, some little problems to figure out!" 

"You think?!" Remus snapped, brushing Deceit off when he tried to quell him, done with staying quiet at last. "No, Dee, let me speak! No one _ever lets me speak_!" 

They all stared at him in the wake of his loud shout, even Deceit, with a mix of surprise and guilt and trepidation. He stood up, eyes wild and starting to glow green, and he bared his teeth at the way Roman instinctively stepped in front of the other two with his sword suddenly at his side. " _For Thomas's sake_ _Roman_ , I'm not going to hurt anyone! I'm not _you_." Patton gasped, covering his mouth with his hands and Roman stuttered with offence. Deceit tried yet again to get Remus to sit down but the Creativity was over it. "What?! It's true! Raise your hand if you've been personally victimised by Roman freakin' Sanders?!" He shoved his hand in the air, glaring around the room until Virgil's fingers started to twitch nervously and-

"This won't help," Logan said firmly, stepping around Roman and straightening his tie. Remus scowled at the interruption to his righteous quest for justice, but when he opened his mouth again he was quelled by a raise of Logan's eyebrow. Deceit succeeded at last in tugging him back onto the bed, weakly grasping at his hand even though Remus wouldn't look at him. "We came to try and make amends, as it happens. Due to some of the less pleasant recent events we have been forced to re-examine our actions and biases. It has come to my- to _our_ attention that perhaps we haven't been acting in accordance to what we believe is right, and have subsequently been hurting you in the process. And as we know; we are all part of Thomas. If he really didn't want us all here then, quite frankly, we wouldn't be." He trailed off, mouth moving silently for a moment before glancing around uncertainly. "I am... I confess I don't know what to do next."

Silence hung in the air for a moment, clogging their throats and sticking lips together unpleasantly until Deceit nudged Remus and the feeling eased off considerably. From the second bed Virgil uncurled a bit from his tight, defensive ball and cleared his throat. "Um, you guys really talked about this? Like, voluntarily?" He asked, picking at one of the laces of his shoes. He didn't quite make eye contact with Logan but there was a lightness to his expression that carried hints of hope. 

"We did. It was, in fact, Roman who started us off," Logan admitted, to everyone's surprise. They all began to talk over each other; Remus scoffing and grumbling under his breath about how unlikely that was to be true; Roman starting to stammer about it just having been necessary and the right thing to do with red cheeks and affected humility; to which Deceit _also_ scoffed, tasting the lie in the air; and Patton placed a hand on Logan's arm and murmured his pride at giving Roman credit for their revelation before turning to defend him to Remus and Deceit, planting his fists on his hips crossly as he scolded their derision.

Virgil and Logan kept looking at each other through the chaos. "Is that really true?" Virgil asked softly, and the noise died down. Logan nodded, stepping forwards and sitting next to Virgil on the bed. He hesitantly reached for the other side's hands, tugging them from their fretful fidgeting safely into his own and clasping them gently. 

"It is. But that's not to say the rest of us didn't come to similar conclusions as well. I'm sorry I asked Roman first, about what had happened. I'm sorry I didn't try harder to find out if you were alright when it was abundantly clear that you were not. I believe I was a little, ah, overzealous? With my haste moving on from the issue, believing it to be resolved. Or rather, wishing for it to be resolved..." Deceit, whose mouth had opened to protest the previous lie, snapped it shut again, mollified by the soothing balm of the truth. Virgil offered Logan an almost smile, peering out from under his bangs and squeezing the hands covering his back. 

Patton squealed, clapping his hands, but was quickly cowed when the eyes of the room turned to him next. "Sorry? It was heartwarming!" 

"Oh for- _fine_. So we're doing this now?" Roman sighed, conjuring a chair for him and Patton to sit in, locking eyes with his brother and lifting his chin proudly. "What? You _don't_ want a chance to tell me how awful I am? How angry you are at me? Well get in line, I've got things to say too, _bro_." Remus's lip curled and they both bristled at each other like cats squaring off in the street. 

It wasn't the worst idea, actually, Deceit thought. It could be nice to have things sorted out between them, as much as that was going to be possible in a single sitting. Virgil looked like he'd already started to benefit from the discussions, relaxing somewhat in his seat and leaning towards Logan instead of stiffly away. Logan looked equally better than before, and the way the air was starting to crackle around both twins signalled that yeah, they could use a bit of that for themselves as well. Lastly Deceit glanced at Patton; pure, sweet, _innocent_ Patton, who was blinking at them all with wide eyes as he took the free chair gingerly. The squirm of feelings in Deceit's chest the sight of him brought up was interesting and generally not... great. Yeah, Deceit thought, maybe he could use a chance to talk things out too. 

He nodded decisively, breaking the stare between the twins when Remus turned to check if he was alright. He gave his most loyal friend a brief smile and then turned to the room, taking in the four other painfully familiar yet distinct faces. "Let's do this."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes fixing old hurts brings them back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: Blood, injury, fighting. Described but not serious.

It was never going to be half as easy as that. Very much a case of easier said than done... 

Remus and Roman started arguing again so fast Patton nearly dived for cover, and no one- least of all them- even knew what they were howling at each other but the weapons came out and that was far enough. 

Logan threw himself to wrestle the sword from Roman as Deceit grabbed Remus by the face and tried to quickly talk him down, petting his anger-flushed cheek to soothe him. 

"This won't work," Virgil hissed from the bed, curled back up like a frightened hedgehog. "We're never going to just talk things through!" 

"We already have!" Logan protested. "You and I have discussed and I rightly apologised. And Deceit-" Deceit looked up from Remus with a raised eyebrow. "I think the willingness to try counts for a lot."

Virgil snorted, and not nicely. "Sure. And Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee are _so_ willing to sort out their issues..." 

The silence fell so suddenly over the room that Deceit had to try and subtly pop his ears to double check he could still hear. It was broken by a little sniff from Patton, clearly already overwhelmed. Deceit felt a rush of anger towards him. Why did _he_ get to be overwhelmed and sorry and have that be it? Why didn't he have a splitting headache and have to grit his teeth and push on through every crisis they'd ever had? He was probably only here to be absolved of all his sins so he could go on living his pretty perfect Patton life, and _he_ ought to be the one with his head split into two _perfect pieces_ -

He let go of Remus abruptly, looking at him sharply in betrayal. "You mojoed me!" Remus looked faintly ashamed but didn't deny it, raising his chin. "You-" Deceit couldn't stop blinking. His eyes hurt, maybe they were too dry in the hotel room air or something, so he rubbed them and it got worse, matching the increasing weight in his chest. 

"I just wanted you to let go, Dee..." Remus mumbled. Deceit stood up. "Dee?"

"You and Roman are going somewhere else and you two can fight each other to the damn _death_ until one of you emerges victorious or you sort your shit out, for all I care!" He shouted, hands balling into fists. 

Remus did look ashamed then. "Dee I'm so-"

"Don't! Don't say that. Just go, please. Leave the grown ups here to sort the real issues out." It was hurtful, but it was meant to be. He turned away from Remus's stricken face, not watching as Logan took Roman aside and murmured to him. A new door opened up and Roman hurried through, followed by a more reticent Remus, who kept looking over his shoulder to see if Deceit would acknowledge him. He didn't. 

Deceit sat back down heavily on the edge of the bed, gripping it tightly. "We should- we should get on with it. Who knows how long they'll be?" He muttered. 

"Maybe we should talk about this first, kiddo-"

"I am not your kiddo, Patton," Deceit snapped. "Don't call me that."

Morality blinked, looking to Logan for help before acquiescing. "Oh-okay, Deceit. Sorry. Is there, um, anything else that you'd like u- _me_ to change?" 

Everything? The past, maybe? Deceit rubbed his hands over his eyes, leaving them there while he tried to organise his thoughts into something coherent. The sensation of weight dipping the mattress next to him caught him by surprise, and he uncovered an eye to see Virgil sitting next to him with a nervous expression, hand halfway out towards his shoulder. It paused there under the scrutiny, but Deceit swallowed down his bitter immediate response and nodded. 

It felt nice, the warmth of anxiety leaving him and the small gesture of support from someone he'd thought he may have lost it from forever. It was just enough to topple the weight he'd been feeling and he sniffed. 

Just once. 

But once was all it took for the barriers to be overwhelmed by the flood building up behind them. He cried into Virgil's waiting arms, uncaring of who might be watching. 

* * *

The door shut behind Remus and Roman with a definite thump, signalling the start of their mandated alone time. It was hard to feel the same burning anger and bitterness when he felt so damn guilty though. Dee had looked... _heartbroken_. Like Remus had taken the last of his hope from him somehow, and so when Roman's sword came towards his head he didn't move but waited. Maybe being beheaded would be fun and he could just pretend to be the headless horseman _and_ the cheshire cat all at once? Maybe it wouldn't work and he'd turn out like Nearly Headless Nick, which was even _cooler_... 

But Roman stopped in time, scowling at his estranged twin. "Why aren't you fighting back?!" He demanded. "You wanted this! You wanted to pick a damn fight and now here we are. So fight!" 

"Ugh, you're _so_ dramatic. And honourable. Why are you so damn honourable?" Remus scowled right back at him. 

"Uh, I don't know, probably because _I got all the goodness_?" Roman taunted him. "And you don't even try not to be stinky and gross and a monster, so you can't talk!" 

There was a clang when the morning star hit the sword, only just blocked by Roman as Remus swung at him out of the blue, face twisted. "I don't _try_?! I tried _every day for years_! I tried to be different, to be good! To be allowed to come back! I even tried to join back with you, to _split again_ , but there's not anything left in me that's not bad so I couldn't!" He shouted, forcing Roman back and back and back with heavy swings of his weapon, ringing out on the strong but significantly more delicate katana Roman wielded. "I can't _be different_." 

The morning star dropped just as Roman swung and Remus closed his eyes, waiting for the impact against his side. 

Somehow Roman managed to pull the blow at the last second, enough that even with momentum it only grazed a hot, thin line at an angle crossing his chest, cutting through his clothes and leaving a pink mark that darkened rapidly as it began to bleed. Remus cackled, wiping his finger through it and dropping to his knees in triumph. At last! Roman had been the one to hurt _him_! He wasn't perfect after all! 

The laughter startled Roman out of his haze, frozen by the captivating sight of the injury. He jumped forwards, dropping his sword and pressing his hand to the wound. It was shallow and not bleeding too heavily, but he still only ended up with red on his hands, hands that Remus caught by the wrists and twisted to show to him with a blissful smile as Roman tried to breathe. "Look, we're not so different." Remus whispered, a single inky black tear rolling down from pure joy. He let go of Roman's hands to press his own to them, palm to palm, their fingers matching perfectly. "We're not so different-"

Roman threw himself backwards, glaring at Remus hotly. He nearly ran a hand over his face before he remembered, conjuring a cloth to quickly scrub the blood off and not looking at his brother. "We are not the same. You want to hurt me because it makes you feel good. I just want to stop you. And that was an accident- you wanted to be hit!" 

"And you still did it! You can't-"

"I am not like you! I am _better_ and _kinder_ and _good_!" 

Remus finally fell quiet, the manic energy fading. He stood up, waving a hand to repair his clothes, even though the dark stain could be seen through them. "There's no point to this, is there," he said quietly. "When they broke us they really broke us. You know, I often wonder if I'm even Creativity anymore. Maybe we were always more and then you got all that, and I got... something else. Meanness, probably. Ugliness, inside. Maybe I really could be Duke of Trash..." 

"Stop trying to get me to pity you!" Roman yelled, throwing the cloth. "I don't!"

"Oh that is _abundantly clear thank you_ ," Remus hissed. 

Roman fought the childish urge to stick out his tongue. "I want to go home. And I want everything to go back to normal. I don't like this. I don't like feeling bad like this." 

"Guilt, such a fu-"

"No, _bad_. Like I'm the bad guy." That caught Remus's attention and he turned around to look at his brother. "I made people hurt and I didn't mean to. I make you hurt and I say these things and I- I'm not supposed to be like this, Remus! I'm supposed to be the good guy!" He hid his face in his knees. 

Remus sighed and sat down where he was, keeping some distance between them. "I'm supposed to be the bad guy. But I hurt someone... and I didn't mean to do that either. That's not the kind of bad guy I want to be. I just want- Roman I just want to do my job. I want Thomas to be amazing and free and wildly passionate about everything. I don't want him to be scared of _anything_. And I don't want to be bad because I do that. I think it's the same for D- for Dee."

"But that's the opposite of what Patton and Virgil want, and what Logan would say is good!" 

Remus snorted, clicking his fingers so an extra large pair of glasses appeared on his face. "And Logan would say something silly like," he affected a serious voice, "'Homo Sapiens are supposed to function in a balance in all aspects of life with a conscious effort towards shades of grey thinking'. Or would it be 50 shades of grey thinking..." 

Without thinking Roman giggled. He clapped a hand over his mouth quickly to hide it but the damage was done. "I don't think that's what it should be. Patton would pitch a fit if Thomas started thinking like _that_..." 

"Oh I _know_ , wouldn't it be hilarious?" Remus grinned. His smile fell. "But... I don't want you to feel like the bad guy either, okay Ro? It's not a nice way to feel. Not _that_ kind of bad, anyway. But can you... maybe stop making me feel that way too?" Roman groaned. "I know, it's not easy. But can't we just... duel it out when we need to instead of being really actually mean?"

"It would be better for Thomas..." Roman said slowly. "We could try it out a bit? Have a temporary bad guy-good guy team up to defeat the worst villain of all... um... uh..." He struggled to think of what that might be and Remus rolled his eyes. 

"The Dragon Witch still around?" 

"Oh yes! The Dragon Witch! We'll stay teamed up until then. And you can be the... antihero. Maybe. If that works." 

Remus didn't go to hug his brother but it was a strong impulse. He did offer his hand though, and they stood up, the room fading out as they walked to the door. "You think they're done in there?" 

"There's only one way to find out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Into the endgame now. These are getting tough to write, mostly because it's an au entirely without prompts, and I am finding I am much better at responsive writing than free reign!! 
> 
> I will never be happy with this chapter but after some help from a friend on Tumblr this is where it ended up and it will... strongly do! 
> 
> Only a few more left and then this is DONE! If you want to make me write it faster come bug me on the tumbs at the same username :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Aftermath.

"In all my years looking after Thomas I never expected to end up doing this," Patton said with a kind smile, holding out the freshly brewed mug of tea. Logan had migrated to Deceit's side and was guiding him through a breathing exercise after the side had got a little overwhelmed by the crying and found himself unable to stop. Virgil too, was doing his part; tucking a blanket around Deceit's shoulders and rubbing his back as he not-so-subtly also followed along with the calming pattern Logan was evenly calling out. "But things often change for the better." 

He was determined to put a good spin on things, on all of it if he could. Thomas deserved to live a life of sunshine and rainbows and wonder and Patton would do his best to give him that on the inside. If it meant crouching in front of Deceit and patting his knee gently while Deceit cupped his hands around the warm mug, face messier than it might ever have been; then so be it. Morality was grey, and the world was not what he knew, and that would be okay. 

When Deceit peered curiously at him through watery eyes he wondered if he was lying to himself. But instead of accusation those eyes were soft, his lips parted slightly but not to taunt or scold. Deceit looked slightly stunned, actually, and Patton tilted his head and tried not to gulp as he awaited judgement. 

"Can I-" Virgil passed the tissue box over before Deceit had to do much more than wave vaguely in that direction, and they all waited patiently to finish blowing his nose and dabbing his face dry, vanishing the tissue with a small twitch of his lips. "I didn't think we'd be here either. Sorry, for... _that_." 

Three voices rose to protest, but he raised a hand. "No I am sorry. I'm sorry it got this far along before anything happened, I guess? I should've- seen there was a problem earlier. I _am_ self-preservation, no matter what you may think, but I think the denial sort of... got the better of me." He sighed, taking a long sip of the tea and closing his eyes in satisfaction. It was calming chamomile, of course it was, and he opened his eyes to look at Patton again. "You're more settled again now, what changed?"

Patton frowned, confused by the insight. How could he know if it apparently wasn't a lie? "You can- I'm not lying? But how can you tell if I'm not lying?" Logan also leaned forwards, looking Deceit over quickly, cataloguing something quickly in his head. "Are you feeling my feelings?!"

"No!" Deceit quickly assured them, in case anyone was going to panic again. "No but I feel the conflict. Um, when it rises to Thomas. I sort of started working as a... final fail-safe? Against extreme outbursts, from any of us, once we became more independent as sides. All that internal emotional conflict today nearly broke through but I stopped it." His chest puffed out a bit and Patton smiled, before the implications sunk in. 

There was a soft clearing of a throat and Logan carefully interrupted. "You mean to say you've been holding back all of our negativity for the past however many hours?" Logic checked. When Deceit nodded he made an odd face, not one that Patton could label, and sat back, lips pursed tightly. 

"But that's my job. I mean it hurt but I managed, I managed through all of that-"

"That's very good, very good indeed!" Patton quickly reassured him, still patting his knee. Deceit gave him a twitch of a smile, but it counted and when Patton's chest swelled he thought he saw Deceit's eyelids flutter slightly. Huh, extreme emotions. Who knew? 

They were quiet for a while, letting Deceit calm down and finish his tea. The door where Roman and Remus had vanished let through no sound so they couldn't be sure when the twins would reappear. Virgil slowly but surely drew closer and closer, legs tucked under himself on the bed, until Deceit rolled his still slightly red eyes and pulled him under his arm, close against his side. It was warm there, and Deceit still remembered how to stroke through his hair and rub his scalp in the best way, so he migrated down to put his head in his lap and relax while they all waited. 

Only moments past before the door opened. It didn't burst wide like they had all expected, but neither did it ease open carefully. Remus stepped through with Roman behind him, small, quiet smiles on both faces. Until Patton shrieked, because Remus was of course still covered in blood stains, and proud of it. 

The peace shattered, but unlike the arguments before it was a healthier, tentatively fond kind of chaos. Patton was fussing over Remus without a care in the world, no hesitation in his movements as he sat the twin down and scolded him for not vanishing the injury or at least changing his shirt. Roman snickered from behind until Patton spotted a single drop of red on his pants that he'd missed in his cleanup and insisted on checking him over thoroughly because he didn't believe either twin when they promised Roman wasn't actually hurt. 

It was nice. Virgil snorted and burrowed into Deceit's lap, and Logan rose with a long-suffering sigh to be Patton's assistant and add his usual witty commentary onto the ends of Morality's pun-ishing (and boy were there puns a-plenty) lecture. 

Over Patton's shoulder Remus made eye contact with Deceit, nervously holding his gaze and mouthing his apology. Deceit didn't immediately turn away, and his expression softened after pinning watching Remus squirm for a moment, nodding once. They would talk, later, but they would be okay. 

They might, in fact, _all_ be okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back on (sort of) track! Two chapters to go, probably fluff because I don't know about you guys but I need it and they deserve it!! 
> 
> It's not all fixed, but I don't think that's something we can achieve here. The best we can do (and have done if I say so myself!) is get them on the path there!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The soothing balm of a tentative friendship.

When Logan opened the door later that night to lead the subdued but mostly at peace foursome back to their own hotel room the door didn't open onto the hallway he expected. With a curious glance behind and an answering flush from Roman Logan pushed the door open to reveal the other hotel room was apparently attached. Through some clever (and honestly shaky physics-wise) warping of reality around them Roman had managed to move Deceit and Remus's room so it was now one of three doors coming off the central living space instead of two. The way both of their faces lit up- Remus with a wild grin and Deceit with a little, innocent widening of his eyes- made it all worth it.

They all wandered through, Deceit carrying a tired Virgil on his back and Remus bouncing around with unfailing energy, but quietly, at least. Patton yawned and bid them all a goodnight, following Logan into their shared room. There was a slight pause as the remaining sides worked out what to do next. Roman glanced warily at Virgil, who was clinging rather childishly onto Deceit and avoiding his gaze. But Remus was also avoiding someone's eyes, and Deceit knew that while it was tempting to let the twins share and keep this sweetly needy Virgil with him; he needed to mend things with Remus and Roman and Virgil needed to do the same.

"Off you get, go on," he urged, carefully straightening up until Virgil had to set his legs down or topple them both. He chose the former, sighing and shoving his hands in his pockets. "We'll see you in the morning."

"Alright, let's go then." It wasn't the enthusiasm Roman had clearly been hoping for but he smiled at the other two and trailed after Virgil, closing their door quietly behind himself with one last wave and nervous grin.

"Do you think he's going to get eviscerated? Ooh maybe beheaded! I was thinking about that earlier how you could be the Cheshire cat or-" Remus stopped, quelled by the hand Deceit raised. "Um."

But Deceit shook his head. "Not here. Let's go back and get some rest, okay Re? I think we both need it. And we can maybe snuggle and have a midnight chat, like when we were kids. The darkness is-"

"Safe. Yeah." Remus managed a smile, and the final door clicked closed for the night and the place fell quiet.

* * *

Three different conversations took place behind those doors, the contents of which no one discussed in the morning, but when they met in the middle for their first ever shared breakfast there was a collective noticing of lighter footsteps and easier behaviour around each other.

Virgil even nudged and snorted at Roman when he made a terrible joke over his cereal, and Deceit's eyes shone warmly when he wrinkled his nose and told Remus off for eating so fast he was spraying crumbs everywhere and no he could absolutely _not_ add extra jam so it looked like he had blood dripping down his face; they were on holiday and he would _behave_. Mostly.

The twins shared a laugh at that and Patton almost combusted with joy, shaking his fists by his chest to get some of the ferocious glee out physically. He tempered the emotion down to a warm contentment when he caught Deceit's glance, reaching over to squeeze his gloved hand with apology and understanding. 

"So. We're here for the rest of the weekend. Which is… Today and tomorrow. Not long; but I have created an itemised itinerary for us to choose options from. We are, of course, somewhat limited by our proximity to Thomas, but Roman has of course- oh..." Logan frowned at his notes and then looked up at the twins sat side by side at the table. "Remus, I suppose you'd be able to help as well if you so wish. Please discuss with Roman when we have reached a consensus on our activity of choice. In any case; Creativity of one, either or both sorts will be able to allow us access to whatever we would like to visit, even if we aren't always nearby. Although the real thing is, naturally, preferable."

His speech finished, Logan handed out neat, thin booklets with lists of what to do and when to do it. Deceit and Virgil shared small smiles as the group (family? were they a family now?) pored over the options. 

There was a clear winner once Logan opened the floor to debate, and despite Virgil's misgivings at the dangers they all collectively (amazing, really all things considered) agreed on the Rockefeller Ice Rink. Ice skating was what Roman had first dreamed of as the focal point for this trip after all, and he had been right in his original statement that it was one thing they all unanimously liked. Yes, even Virgil with his usual uncertainties about slippery ice, sharp skate blades and too many _children_. 

It just so happened (there may have been sidely hijinks involved but no one would fess up) that Thomas had also decided to go visit the centre on that bright December morning so there would be no need for either twin to get too creative. And a good thing too, with the way they'd very seriously been discussing similarities between ice skates and knife edges, and had then run off on a tangent about that one video of a ballet dancer dancing on knife-pointe (Patton had enjoyed the pun, if not the actual concept). 

The air was cold and crisp and they layered up despite not really needing to, because by now ninety percent of their habitual behaviour was set dressing and the suspension of disbelief. Even Logan put on some sensible gloves and a scarf, although he steadfastly refused the knit hat Patton repeatedly tried to sneak onto his head. It had a large pom-pom on top and he genuinely pouted at the idea (but Deceit smirked at the denial oozing from him). Patton tried similar with all of the sides in fact, parent instincts running on overdrive. Virgil had a nice scarf and mittens; Roman and Remus received matching sweaters and hats and Deceit- 

"Would you like a hat too?" Patton offered shyly, coming to a halt in front of the final member of the group. His hands were conspicuously held behind his back, and when Deceit's unimpressed facade broke and he allowed a small grin along with his nod, Patton brought out the grey and yellow beanie he'd been hiding at the ready. It was warm, with flaps that dangled down to cover his ears, and a little pom-pom of its own that bobbed around on top. It was perfect. "Do you like it?!" 

"Like it..." Deceit pursed his lips. He let the silence hang until Patton started to look worried, and Virgil nudged him with a roll of his eyes. "Of course I do, Patton. Thank you very much."

Patton squealed and very gently hugged him, bouncing off in raptures to join the twins, who were equally high-energy as they waited impatiently to leave. 

Ice skating was perhaps the exact sort of unbridled fun and chaos and _bonding_ they'd all sorely needed. There was no room for hesitation or wariness when you were sliding along between throngs of equally as uncoordinated people, desperately clinging to the first person you saw when you started to fall. Remus and Roman were annoyingly good at it, picking the hockey boot option and figuring out how to chase each other round with wild shouts, while the other four followed with a little more decorum. Patton slipped _everywhere_ but kept going with a smile, chatting away to a serenely gliding Logan, occasionally hanging onto his arm for help, and Deceit trailed after them. 

He wasn't confident on the skates, but he tried to copy the movements and held only lightly onto the side as much as he could, until Virgil skated smoothly up beside him and _swivelled to skate backwards_. "What on _earth_ -" Deceit muttered, jaw dropping at the display. Virgil flushed. 

"Yeah well, I figured it was only gonna be safer if I actually knew what I was doing, so I maybe took advantage of the imagination a time or twelve after last Christmas. _That_ was a disaster..." He held out his hands, the edges of a hopeful grin playing around his lips. "Can I help?"

"I'm not so sure I'm not going to just bring us _both_ down, you know," Deceit warned him, but he took tight hold of the hands anyway. 

It didn't take them long to get into a good rhythm, catching up with Logan and Patton and skating alongside them. Thomas was somewhere among the rest and they passed him occasionally, watching with four identical, fond smiles as he laughed with his friends. 

Once their time was up and they'd corralled both Creativities off the ice and back into regular shoes they tucked themselves away in a hidden corner of the adjoining cafe and sat in tired peace sipping a variety of hot drinks. So far so good, they all thought, glancing around at the others with tentative smiles. So far so good. 

And that stayed true for the rest of the day, and indeed the trip. With the foundations laid for a more equal footing among them something like true contentment took root in Thomas at last, and they all felt the warmth of his gratitude that night as he settled down to go to sleep, dreaming of good things to come. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter notes for this were as follows:
> 
> -They do something cute in New York and have some good discussions
> 
> -THIS IS IT THIS IS THE ICE SKATING CHAPTER
> 
> :))
> 
> This is technically the end but if you have looked at the chapter count then you've probably seen that there's one more to go, which will be a nice epilogue, and won't be long coming (fingers crossed!!). Thanks for getting this far!!!!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An end and a beginning.

It snowed in the New York the sides walked around in the next day. Not for Thomas, although he shivered a bit more than he should have considering his warm layers while his sides frolicked around in the banks of pristine white, throwing snowballs and building several oddly shaped snowmen that Remus delighted in throwing himself into to destroy.

Patton eventually bundled them all back into the hotel room to relax and let Thomas just be for a while (Deceit's wincing had got a bit too obvious and now that he knew why Patton was determined to ameliorate the situation as much as possible). 

The space shifted for the millionth time, a large fireplace roaring to life for them to gather around. Roman pulled his notebook out and sat down shoulder to shoulder with his twin with no hesitation whatsoever, and the words were soon flowing their bright, harmonious orange across the page as they muttered back and forth on the trail of a new idea. 

Virgil made them all hot chocolates and pulled his phone out to listen to music, but he left his feet up in Patton's lap as they shared the couch, smiling when the blanket around him thickened and grew heavier to ground him down pleasantly. 

"So we'll be travelling back tomorrow morning," Deceit said with a yawn, snuggling into the cosy bean bag seat he'd picked. Logan nodded, wiggling his feet happily in their big fluff unicorn slippers. Patton had insisted, and he hadn't wanted to disappoint him, of course. "And then what?" 

"What do you mean?" Logan asked, and Patton leaned a little closer too so the three of them could talk quietly together. 

"Well, what do we do there? Does anything change?" Deceit explained, looking between them. 

Patton twisted his lips for a moment. "I think... things have already changed ki- uh, friend-o. That's pretty undeniable."

"Oh I _know_ ," Deceit grinned, unable to resist. Patton chuckled and shook his head. 

"Alright, but I mean it really has already changed. And hopefully, it will keep changing. Because that's good for us and for Thomas, right?"

"Absolutely. And as for living arrangements," Logan said, "Probably changed as well. After all it barely took much for this place to accommodate you both and I hardly believe Roman and Remus will allow themselves to be very separate again."

It was a nice thought. "But they don't control us there; Thomas does. And he still clearly thinks of us as... what we presented to him. I was thinking about this last night actually and- we may need to talk to him to explain everything? Properly. And it would really help if we had your support. Especially you two. He really listens to you both."

Patton reached out to take his hand, mirroring Logan's nod. "You have that. Whenever you're ready to have that discussion we'll be there. All of us."

"And that's no falsehood," Logan chimed in firmly. "Not that there's anything wrong with those, every once in a while."

Deceit didn't quite hug them, but it was close.

* * *

"Wake up now, we're home," Roman whispered, carefully shaking Virgil's shoulder. "The others already went inside, c'mon." 

"Where's Thomas?" Virgil yawned, groggily climbing out after Roman and heading back up the path to the house. "Wh- oh." 

The lights were on inside, and as they stepped in five faces turned to look at them. Remus was draped over the back of the TV, smiling widely; Logan sipped from a thermos of coffee, hiding a smile of his own as he tried to look serious and professional rather than excited; Deceit stood proudly next to Patton, hands clasped behind his back and chin up, his hat and gloves conspicuously missing; and Thomas was looking at them both with a fond smile, the set of his shoulders as relaxed as the crinkles around his eyes. 

"There you are kiddos!" Patton waved, bouncing in place between him and Deceit with barely restrained glee. "We were just waiting for you to get started. We've got some talking to do, grab a hot drink and settle in. Boy have we got some updates for you, Thomas!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started this right at the beginning of my Sanders Sides fandom experience, and I'm delighted by the progress I've made and how many of you I've managed to entertain with this, and many other stories besides! 
> 
> Thanks for joining, kudos'ing, subscribing and commenting. You've been excellent!


End file.
